I have this charming habit of staring at my phone during breakfast. The only reason I’d be inclined to talk before noon is because something bad has happened to me in that 15-minute window from bed to breakfast and I’d like to file a complaint.
When other people delight themselves in small talks and weather discussions, I’d be scrolling through my Google Now cards. Maybe because I have been reading a lot about Brexit, Google has suggested a lot of news about New Zealand. They probably assume I’m a British national who is looking to migrate after their country’s giant farce. At least they are right about me wanting to move there. New Zealand sounds like the best country in the world.