Today, Tucker and I went to “Good Times in the Grotto” and it was lit. In Tucker’s words, all the comedians “are surprisingly good for a free basement show.” It was down in the basement of a sports store in Mission. I knew I was going to love the place when I walked in and people smiled at me and the first person I talked me turned out to not work in tech. Score.
Below are some of the best jokes from the night. My memory is quite bad so I don’t remember all who said what. But the lineup includes Roman Leo, Hence Singleton, Morgan, Ben Lupinetti, William Lushbaugh, Ruby Gill, Nando Molina, Jazmyn Washington. If you try enough combinations, you’ll eventually get it right.
Here you go!
“When my girlfriend rides a bike it looks like she’s exercising but when I ride a bike it looks like I don’t own a car.”
“When I need encouragement I think of Ray Charles. He was a blind man who did heroin. Think about it for a second. If he could find the vein I can find a job.” – Nando Molina
“I hate working so much I get excited to see unemployment rate goes up. It means all the work is almost done, right? There is no work left.”
“Listen, white people, whether it’s Hillary or Trump it’ll work out for y’all just fine.” – Tony Sparks.
“Coke is such a powerful drug it got Americans to use the metric system. If someone knows what a kilogram means you know they are a f******* addict.” – Nando Molina
“I told my Mom I was suicidal and she said talk is cheap.” – Roman Leo
“I’m a transgender and I’m a lesbian. I know, I have always been an overachiever.”
“Never play strip poker with a homeless man. You can never beat someone who wears 7 layers of clothes.”
“I live in Oakland and whenever someone comes over to my place they are like what’s that smell, and I’m like that’s the smell of 350 dollars a month baby.” – Roman Leo
“My girlfriend and I have been together for 24 years and we are still not married so I guess I win.” – Phil Johnson
“I got an email recently that my MySpace account was hacked and I’m just like I’m glad someone knows the password.” – Phil Johnson
“I’m gonna put my one in your zero.” – Phil Johnson