I have a friend, Akash, who’s obsessed with Taco Bell. I mean, obsessed. At dinner, he would talk on and on about his plan to catch Taco Bell’s attention. “Should I do a pushup-handstand while eating a taco? How about doing a backflip with a taco in my mouth?”
Most people would say those things as a joke, but I know Akash can and might actually do those as he’s an “almost” Olympian.He went to Rio as part of the USA gymnastics team but didn’t compete. He was there as a replacement in case something bad happened to somebody in the main team. Somebody said it was the best deal — you got to travel and stay in nice hotels and meet athletic people without the actual pressure of competing. But Akash told me that it was the worse feeling. He trained his whole life for that moment, and he got so close.
“Is it true that they have somebody whose job is just to deliver condoms to athletes?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Akash said. “You saw condom booths everywhere in Rio.”
Anyway, the bottom line is that he really loved Taco Bell.
“I once said on national television that I got to compete in the world championship because I ate Taco Bell every day and they still didn’t contact me.”
“No you didn’t.”
“Yes I did. Here’s the video.”
As you can guess, it’s become my favorite video. If it’s really his dream, who am I to judge? And Taco Bell, please get your shit together. Give Akash Modi a sponsorship already!