Today, I went for a boba run with Tucker. He wanted to go to a boba place, but I wanted to go to another because that other place was better. Tucker said: “I wouldn’t know. I can probably tell a terrible boba from an average one, but I wouldn’t be able to tell a good boba from a mediocre one.”
And I said: “Ew white people!”
And Tucker was slightly offended: “What’s wrong with being white?”
I realized that I said that phrase a lot. I’m aware that if a white person had said “ew yellow people!” that would be outrageous. That white person would be swiftly and justifiably labeled “racist”, “fascist”, or “white supremacist”—unless, of course, that person is Trump. Trump could grab all the women by their pussies *without their consent* and still be elected as the President of the United States.
However, because I’m not white, I can get away with that phrase. Most of my friends will just laugh it off like a harmless joke: white people eat noodles with forks instead of chopsticks, white people can’t dance, white people like Conan O’Brien. I didn’t think much about it until Tucker pointed it out. Yeah, why? Why is the double standard?
I think, white people (except Tucker) didn’t get offended because they aren’t insecure enough to be offended. It’s like someone who knows herself to be pretty wouldn’t be offended when someone calls her ugly. I say “ew white people” the same way a poor person says “ew rich people” after hearing someone has just bought a yacht or a private jet, the way D-students curl their lips: “Ew A-students!”
Does it mean I say that to cover up my insecurity? Does it mean deep down inside I still admit the advantage that a white person has but I don’t? That I live in a white people’s world and I play by their rules? That unconsciously I let my skin color define my shortcomings and I judge other people based on their skin color?
The US ruined me.